• storvik

Captain's Log - Summary After-Action Report Begins.

I was in my quarters, during an off-duty shift, when I received an emergency call from the Mib Khan on the bridge. He sounded irrational and panicked, and said that the Murgatroid had been captured by an unexpected gravity well and was having trouble breaking free. He insisted upon beaming me to the bridge via intraship transport immediately. I consented, and dematerialized from my quarters. When I rematerialized, still barefoot and in my meditation robes, I found myself in a forest.

When I did not appear on the bridge, and the crew was unable to locate me, my wife T'Vit insisted upon personally interrogating the Khan on duty, despite the difference in rank. Although she determined that Khan's uncharacteristic panic was the result of unauthorized usage of hallucinogenic chemicals while on duty, she accepted the report written up by the other Khan clones that this Khan was a flawed copy, the result of an error in the duplication process, and that its actions could not be used against the remainder of the Khan collective. She personally ensured that the "flawed" clone was disposed of, despite that not being part of her quartermaster "job description", and "encouraged" the other Khans (with the same phaser which had just been used for "flawed clone disposal") to determine what had gone wrong, and where Captain Storvik was.

The problem was traced to an error in navigation. Specifically, the Murgatroid was supposed to be on a heading for Deep Space Nine but was instead set on a course for Starbase Nine. Because of this confusion, the ship was taken unaware by a black star in Starbase Nine's vicinity. At the exact moment of my transport, Chief Engineer Ifix had managed to break away from the high gravitational attraction of the dark star by operating the warp engines at full power in reverse. This breakaway caused a temporary and microscopic rupture in the time-space continuum, through which I passed while in incorporeal particulate form. While the Murgatroid remained at its proper position on the timeline, I found myself light years away on Earth … and in the past.

Heavens and Ditzbrain

Bridge to Nowhere

"What the hell happened to his voice?" Ditzbrain asked Heavens after laying in the course. "And his hair?"

"I don't ask questions anymore," Heavens replied. "I mean, I probably should have asked him to repeat those orders, but I got the gist. I just shrug and roll with it. I mean, at least he's not wearing Lothar's pink dress."

"Could it be a mid-life crisis?" Ditzbrain wondered. "I mean, if a Vulcan simply getting horny can lead to a fight to the death, how bad are their mid-life crises?"

"He's a Vulcan. He's still not old enough for one of those yet."

Storvik-Portrait Illustration Maker
  • storvik

Hair of the Dog

Storvik returned to his quarters and applied the Rapid Hair-Gro™ to his scalp (after replicating rubber gloves and a breathing mask, as per Doctor Mib Khan's advice) and watched as the hair sprouted forth. It grew longer than he normally kept his hair (apparently, he had applied the salve too thickly; he would have to find the correct amounts by trial and error); but once he'd more-or-less combed it into submission, he contacted the bridge. It was time to set a course for Deep Space Nine.

"Bridge, Heavens speaking," came the response.

"Hab Ditbrade sed a cause fo duhbaze dine," ordered Storvik, whose throat and sinuses had not yet fully recovered from their former hirsuteness.

"Umm, yessir," Heavens replied. As soon as the Vulcan broke the connection, she turned to the navigator and said "Ditzbrain, set a course for Starbase Nine."

  • storvik

Regarding Field Density Between Universes

I have submitted a report to Starfleet, bearing the signatures of both myself¹ and Evil Storvik (forged), containing my conclusions based upon a review of all available data relating to the crossover events between this universe and the one designated as the "Mirror Universe". A summary follows.

The first known crossover event involved Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the (Constitution class) USS Enterprise while in orbit around the Halkan homeworld. A freak ion storm, occurring simultaneously in the same corresponding space/time locus in two universes, managed to somehow lower the field density between the two universes sufficiently that a transporter beam from each universe was able to "punch" through to the other side, transposing the analogous crewmembers from each universe into the other. The lowered field density was only temporary, however; and Kirk's landing party was able to duplicate the conditions to transport back home to their own universe (this one) before conditions made such a transposal impossible. It is important to note that such a cross-universal transporter accident is normally impossible, and was only able to occur due to the lowered intra-universal field densities, which "heal" over time.

The next recorded² crossover event occurred many years later near space station Deep Space Nine in the Bajor system. Bajoran Major Kira Nerys and Starfleet Medical Officer Julian Bashir, both assigned to Deep Space Nine, were accidentally transposed into the Mirror Universe while their runabout's warp field collapsed improperly as they entered the Bajoran wormhole. Once again, this incident "punched" a hole between the two universes; a much larger one than the hole caused by the Halkan ion storm. Because of this, intra-universal transport was once again possible; and it took approximately four point seven years before the field densities between the universes healed sufficiently to render intra-universal transport once again impossible. The last recorded crossover event before that occurred involved the Ferengi Grand Nagus Zek and two other Ferengi from Deep Space Nine.

The most recent incident once again involved a runabout "punching" through to the Mirror Universe, this one involving Lieutenant Diziara and two other personnel from the USS Takeda Shingen. Based upon the figures obtained from their runabout's computers and a subsequent survey of the area, and correlated with the data from the previous incidents, it appears as though the field densities between the two universes have once again been reduced to a level which will allow intra-universal transport. This "window of vulnerability" will last a minimum of three years and a maximum of five. I recommend that Starfleet, particularly Deep Space Nine, be placed on a heightened alert to keep vigilant for the possibility of crossovers from the Mirror Universe. I also recommend that Starfleet or the Vulcan Science Academy assign to DS9 somebody who has specialized in this area of astrophysics, to make a more detailed study of the local conditions and perhaps provide early warning of any attempts to crossover from the other side.

The danger is not, however, immediate. In the original incident, Kirk's landing party were able to easily duplicate the conditions of the crossover because the ion storm had been observed and recorded by the ISS Enterprise. Every intra-universal fistula has a different harmonic; and since the personnel on Terok Nor in the Mirror Universe did not directly observe the crossover of Nerys and Bashir's runabout, it took a great deal more effort (the actual amount of time and personnel involved in the effort is unknown) before they were able to duplicate it (approximately a year later, "Smiley" O'Brien was able to transport himself from Terok Nor to Deep Space Nine in order to abduct Captain Benjamin Sisko). Given that, it should be a matter of some months, at minimum, before the residents of that universe are able to once again duplicate the conditions allowing them to transport into this one (as the report filed by officers Diziara, Spiegel, and Connor all agree that their crossover was also unobserved).

¹As much of this speculation and analysis is more within my field than my analog's, I decided that the report would carry more credibility were my name attached along with his.
²The data suggests that another crossover incident occurred within a year of the Halkan crossover incident, but I can find no record of such an event occurring. It is possible that it did not occur in Federation space.

Storvik-South Park
  • storvik

Reflections Upon The Mirror

The USS Murgatroid was just contacted by Starfleet, who were looking for Evil Storvik. As he has left for parts unknown on Surak's Razor, despite being specifically ordered to remain under my observation on the Murgatroid, I had to "cover" for him. Fortunately, since this was not a "face-to-face" meeting but simply a short subspace conversation on my viewscreen, I have not yet had to test with Doctor Mib Khan's rapid hair-growth experimental serum in order to give myself a goatee like the one sported by my analog – I simply had one placed upon my face by the ship's holoemitters. The routines for placing holograms upon a person's body, and keeping them properly located despite any movement of the individual in question, were perfected years ago when we required the holoemitters to keep trousers upon the former captain whenever he was outside of his quarters.

In any event, the reason for the communiqué was that another accidental parallel universe crossover event has just occurred, involving three crewmembers from the USS Takeda Shingen. Even though this incident did not involve the parallel universe from which Evil Storvik originated, he was still furnished a copy of the reports as he is listed as an expert consultant for this category of phenomena. By odd coincidence, one of the three crewmembers is known to me: I have encountered Lieutenant Diziara before on Starbase 668 – I was unaware that she had been transferred to starship duty. The reports are currently in limited distribution (though not declared "secret" outright) while they are being analyzed; if past patterns are replicated they will eventually be added to the Starfleet Academy curriculum on parallel universes, and sent as updates to Starfleet personnel (in particular, those on station Deep Space Nine) in order to serve as a reminder and warning of the dangers that such trans-universal crossover events present.

As it happens, it is fortuitous for Starfleet that I an currently impersonating Evil Storvik. While he was trained as a security and counter-espionage officer, I was a science officer before taking command of the Murgatroid; and, as such, am more conversant with the higher math and abstract theories that are linked to the studies of parallel universe phenomena. I will go over all of the data which I have received, and see if there are any hitherto unknown conclusions which I can reach and report back to Starfleet.


Mime Time

One day, Captain Storvik was walking toward sickbay with Doctor Mib Khan when they discovered a crewman acting oddly – and "oddly" in a different manner from any of the odd ways that USS Murgatroid crewmembers had previously been observed to act. Ensign Robert MacAllister was standing in place, beating at the air in front of him as if it were an invisible wall, and opening his mouth as if he were shouting … but no sounds were coming out.

Khan pulled out his medical tricorder and did a quick scan of the ensign, who had stopped his rage against the atmosphere but was still giving the appearance of speaking soundlessly. "Other than obvious signs of stress," Khan said, "there does not appear to be anything wrong with MacAllister. Not even laryngitis." He put the tricorder back, and added, "If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was carrying out an old Terran practice called 'mime' that was eradicated in the late twenty-first century. See, he's making no sound and pretending to be behind an invisible wall." MacAllister reached out to the doctor with a pleading look on his face, and Khan attempted to take his hand … but was blocked.

"He does not appear to be pretending, doctor, unless this 'mime' is contageous," Storvik said, as Khan also placed his hands on the invisible wall surrounding MacAllister. The Vulcan pulled out his technical tricorder, and scanned the area around the ensign. "It is a force field, created and maintained by the holoemitters in the corridor. Fortunately for Mister MacAllister, the computer's safety protocols are rendering it permeable to air so that he does not asphyxiate. It is doubtless also the holographic system which is dampening his speech so that we cannot hear him."

"Medical override," Khan said aloud, directed at the computer. "Release Ensign MacAllister from the force field, and deactivate the sound dampening as well."

"Aw, man, thanks," said the ensign. "I was beginning to think—" The ensign stopped, a look of shock on his face as he nearly fell over. He pulled himself upright, but with an apparent great effect. To all appearances, he was struggling against an invisible wind.

"Computer," began Storvik, but not quickly enough. Before the Vulcan could deactivate this latest manifestation of the holographic system which was active throughout the majority of the USS Murgatroid's interior, ensign MacAllister was blown down the corridor by a mighty wind which no one else felt, and slammed into a bulkhead. He slipped to the floor, unconscious. "Who would," the Vulcan started again, and then was joined by Doctor Khan as they both said simultaneously: "Lothar."


Echoes of T'Lothvik

They are fewer and further between, but I am still having "incidents" related to the recent mind-meld with Counsellor Lothar. I do not know whether or not I am capable of completely suppressing these alien urges; because, in all honesty, I am not making my best attempt to do so. Instead, I am allowing myself to experience them, and finding them most … "educational". I am, however, doing my best to conceal them from all of those around me – in part by confining myself to the holodeck, with full privacy engaged, when I allow the "feelings" to overcome me. I know that my father Captain Daddy-Storvik has not broken the privacy seal of the holodeck while I have been inside; and the only other member of the crew with such access, Doctor Mib Khan, has given no sign that he has, either.

Among the things I practice on the holodeck, when I feel echoes of T'Lothvik, is the use of simple, violent means to create complex, sophisticated results. I have been running the Japanese Zen Garden program, and using explosives and projectiles to shape the ripples in the sand. I have shown my parents the results, but not the methodology; they describe them as "serene", "logical", and "balanced" with what pride they are willing and capable of expressing.

I have spied on Counsellor Lothar, and can see that he is also suffering from echoes of T'Lothvik. I say "suffering", because he clearly (to me) does not wish to continue experiencing them but does not have the mental training to block them. It might be considered ironic that I do have the training, but am not attempting to make use of it. Nobody else has noticed the changes in Lothar because they haven't been watching him as closely as I have. (In fact, Lieutenant Heavens once told me that the preferred method of watching Lothar is by long-range sensors from a minimum of 47 light years away.) I have seen Lothar using complex, sophisticated means to create simple, violent results – Most recently, he has used nanotechnology and advanced gene splicing to genetically engineer swords. Last night, he bred a katana with a long sword without benefit of matrimony in order to create a bastard sword.

If Evil Storvik had been aware of any of this, he most likely would not have explained phaser operation to me today. My father was sufficiently concerned about the fact that "mother" had done so, that it did not occur to him to speculate upon my motivations in seeking such knowledge.

In any event, I have been strictly forbidden to engage in any other unauthorized mind melds until Auntie'Vit has continued my training and certified me ready. She has not yet resumed my training, believing (correctly, as it were) that I need recovery time from my imperfect meld with Lothar. As long as I am feeling these echoes, I shall delay the resumption of my training. I do not know why both of my parents have refused to mind meld with me, leaving such training to Auntie'Vit; they have not answered my queries in this area, nor have I been able to discover any reasons in my searches (licit and otherwise) through the USS Murgatroid's computers.


Have Phaser, Will Travel

Captain Storvik's shift on the bridge was due to begin. (He used to work two of the three daily shifts, at minimum, back when KY Jellico was nominally in command and Mib Khan had not yet developed his cloning apparatus; the new arrangement was much more conducive to married life and child raising, even for Vulcans.) He generally brought his daughter T'Sorvik with him to the bridge, in order to further her education – there had not been a major crisis yet since their return from a seven-year diversion through time; should one occur, she would be in the care of T'Vit while Storvik dealt with the matter.

T'Sorvik had been spending time with her "mother", the captain's analog from the "Dark Mirror" universe (a nomenclature recently established by those in Starfleet studying the matter), Evil Storvik. Storvik stopped by his doppelgänger's quarters on the way to the bridge, to retrieve their daughter. As was his perogative as captain, and because he had determined it to be logical to occasionally catch the not-completely-trustworthy Vulcan unprepared, Storvik entered Evil Storvik's quarters unannounced. Upon entry, he was greeted with the sight of his daughter holding a phaser. "Look what I found, Daddy!"

Storvik took the phaser from her, and examined it. It was definitely a real, fully-functional phaser, not a replica; yet, to the best of Storvik's recollection, Evil Storvik did not have a weapon. He turned it over, and saw the words "Property of Starbase 668" stamped on the bottom. "Can you explain this?" Storvik asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Actually, I cannot," replied Evil Storvik, raising the corresponding eyebrow. "I was led to believe that your socialist Federation had abolished the concept of 'property' over a standard century ago." After Storvik raised another eyebrow, and Evil Storvik matched the ante with another eyebrow of his own, Evil Storvik continued, "If you ask an imprecise question, you will get an imprecise answer." (Brief pause.) "I obtained this phaser in a bar fight on Starbase 668, and was explaining its operation to our daughter."

The two adult Vulcans continued to stare at each other, and an impartial observer could be forgiven for gaining the impression that they were competing to see who could raise their eyebrows the highest. "One, two, three, four; I declare an eyebrow war!" giggled T'Sorvik.

  • Current Mood
cognitive hazard

What do you mean, daylight? We're in deep space!

Khan looked at the chronometer display on the viewscreen. He was doing night shift on the bridge. There was nothing to look at. Well, there was a starfield, and a chronometer. Time was moving really slowly for some reason. He watched the time turn...1:58...1:59...3:00. 3:00???

Khan looked around at the other bridge crew of the uss_murgatroid. It was night shift. Odds were only about 20% on anyone paying attention, even if they'd been given incentives (e.g. sex, drugs, or a "Get away from Lothar free" point-to-point transport subroutine). Khan counted the number of non-holographic crew...nope, no chance he'd get that 20%. Khan chalked it up to either another space-time anomaly or one really, really long blink.
  • Current Mood
    confused confused
South Park-Orion

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

After meeting with "Evil" Storvik, Captain Storvik decided that he needed to take some form of precautions to "cover his posterior" (as the humans say) in the event that the other Vulcan left the USS Murgatroid. He went to the bridge and consulted with the Mib Khan clone currently on the command shift. "If at all possible," he began, "I would request that you develop a method for rapidly growing and removing facial hair. I may need to impersonate my analog." If Starfleet called the Murgatroid, Storvik figured that he could pretend to be "Evil" Storvik in order to convince them that the other Vulcan was still under his control.

After meeting with Captain Storvik, Evil Storvik decided that he needed to take some form of precautions to "cover his posterior" (as the humans say) in the event that he was discovered away from the USS Murgatroid. He went to the sickbay and consulted with the Mib Khan clone currently on medical duty. "If at all possible," he began, "I would request that you develop a method for rapidly removing and regrowing facial hair. I may need to impersonate my analog." If Starfleet caught him off of the Murgatroid, "Evil" Storvik figured that he could pretend to be Storvik, because the other Vulcan still had his freedom.

Moments later, in his quarters, a third Mib Khan clone sat up in surprise. He had just received his memory updates from the other clones on the Murgatroid, and was suffering from something similar to deja vu. A glitch in the ansible system perhaps, or maybe a form of mnemonic echo, had caused him to receive two almost identical memories simultaneously. "Am I seeing double?" he asked himself aloud.

"You're not seeing double," replied his Orion nurse Pooky, who lay to his left in bed.

"You're getting us in stereo," added his other Orion nurse Shiny, who lay to his right.

"As long as I'm not getting mono," murmured Khan, who had decided that any investigation of the flaws in his ansible update system could wait…