Mib Khan, Medical Officer, USS Murgatroid (mib_khan) wrote in uss_murgatroid,
Mib Khan, Medical Officer, USS Murgatroid

  • Mood:

If it's hardware, you can kick it. If it's software, you can only curse at it.

After Ifix called back, we sat down and began to work on Lothar. I downloaded the contents of his computer core to a PADD for ifix, who began to read. The first line was "RTFM", which meant a lengthy read. I helped him with any text he was unfamiliar with (English being a difficult and non-alien-friendly language) and we occasionally tested pieces of Lothar's hardware as we went through the manual.

Eventually, we found the most important bit of documentation, the part everyone had been waiting for: "Prototype GWIII has a psychological dependance on ethanol. Despite massive psyche repairs, this 'Achilles heel' cannot and will not be removed. His internal systems have been set to recognize a minimum Blood Alcohol Level of at least 0.1%; if levels drop below that marker, his pancreas is programmed to reduce blood sugar to a level of 20 grams per deciliter, causing almost instantaneous unconsciousness. This is for the safety of Starfleet personnel and equipment. This programming and equipment is hardwired; if tampered with outside of a Great Warrior maintenance facility all warranties are null and void, and the safety of civilization as we know it is not our responsibility. You have been warned."

Ifix looked up at me after finding that documentation and said, "No fix. Booze Lothar. Questions?"
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