T'Sorvik (tsorvik) wrote in uss_murgatroid,

Echoes of T'Lothvik

They are fewer and further between, but I am still having "incidents" related to the recent mind-meld with Counsellor Lothar. I do not know whether or not I am capable of completely suppressing these alien urges; because, in all honesty, I am not making my best attempt to do so. Instead, I am allowing myself to experience them, and finding them most … "educational". I am, however, doing my best to conceal them from all of those around me – in part by confining myself to the holodeck, with full privacy engaged, when I allow the "feelings" to overcome me. I know that my father Captain Daddy-Storvik has not broken the privacy seal of the holodeck while I have been inside; and the only other member of the crew with such access, Doctor Mib Khan, has given no sign that he has, either.

Among the things I practice on the holodeck, when I feel echoes of T'Lothvik, is the use of simple, violent means to create complex, sophisticated results. I have been running the Japanese Zen Garden program, and using explosives and projectiles to shape the ripples in the sand. I have shown my parents the results, but not the methodology; they describe them as "serene", "logical", and "balanced" with what pride they are willing and capable of expressing.

I have spied on Counsellor Lothar, and can see that he is also suffering from echoes of T'Lothvik. I say "suffering", because he clearly (to me) does not wish to continue experiencing them but does not have the mental training to block them. It might be considered ironic that I do have the training, but am not attempting to make use of it. Nobody else has noticed the changes in Lothar because they haven't been watching him as closely as I have. (In fact, Lieutenant Heavens once told me that the preferred method of watching Lothar is by long-range sensors from a minimum of 47 light years away.) I have seen Lothar using complex, sophisticated means to create simple, violent results – Most recently, he has used nanotechnology and advanced gene splicing to genetically engineer swords. Last night, he bred a katana with a long sword without benefit of matrimony in order to create a bastard sword.

If Evil Storvik had been aware of any of this, he most likely would not have explained phaser operation to me today. My father was sufficiently concerned about the fact that "mother" had done so, that it did not occur to him to speculate upon my motivations in seeking such knowledge.

In any event, I have been strictly forbidden to engage in any other unauthorized mind melds until Auntie'Vit has continued my training and certified me ready. She has not yet resumed my training, believing (correctly, as it were) that I need recovery time from my imperfect meld with Lothar. As long as I am feeling these echoes, I shall delay the resumption of my training. I do not know why both of my parents have refused to mind meld with me, leaving such training to Auntie'Vit; they have not answered my queries in this area, nor have I been able to discover any reasons in my searches (licit and otherwise) through the USS Murgatroid's computers.

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