The USS Murgatroid was just contacted by Starfleet, who were looking for Evil Storvik. As he has left for parts unknown on Surak's Razor, despite being specifically ordered to remain under my observation on the Murgatroid, I had to "cover" for him. Fortunately, since this was not a "face-to-face" meeting but simply a short subspace conversation on my viewscreen, I have not yet had to test with Doctor Mib Khan's rapid hair-growth experimental serum in order to give myself a goatee like the one sported by my analog – I simply had one placed upon my face by the ship's holoemitters. The routines for placing holograms upon a person's body, and keeping them properly located despite any movement of the individual in question, were perfected years ago when we required the holoemitters to keep trousers upon the former captain whenever he was outside of his quarters.
In any event, the reason for the communiqué was that another accidental parallel universe crossover event has just occurred, involving three crewmembers from the USS Takeda Shingen. Even though this incident did not involve the parallel universe from which Evil Storvik originated, he was still furnished a copy of the reports as he is listed as an expert consultant for this category of phenomena. By odd coincidence, one of the three crewmembers is known to me: I have encountered Lieutenant Diziara before on Starbase 668 – I was unaware that she had been transferred to starship duty. The reports are currently in limited distribution (though not declared "secret" outright) while they are being analyzed; if past patterns are replicated they will eventually be added to the Starfleet Academy curriculum on parallel universes, and sent as updates to Starfleet personnel (in particular, those on station Deep Space Nine) in order to serve as a reminder and warning of the dangers that such trans-universal crossover events present.
As it happens, it is fortuitous for Starfleet that I an currently impersonating Evil Storvik. While he was trained as a security and counter-espionage officer, I was a science officer before taking command of the Murgatroid; and, as such, am more conversant with the higher math and abstract theories that are linked to the studies of parallel universe phenomena. I will go over all of the data which I have received, and see if there are any hitherto unknown conclusions which I can reach and report back to Starfleet.